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Número 22 - Abril de 2011   

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Pentateuco: Eccehomo y Bon Ice

Leoncia Veagrís

 

Eccehomo y Bon IceEs una de mis taras, y no voy a gastar tiempo en disimularlo ni mucho menos en justificarme. Lo confieso de frente: Me apasionan las procesiones de Semana Santa.

Puesto a rememorar, es muy probable que mi extraña afición haya nacido cuando tenía 7 años, un Domingo de Ramos en el que uno de los locos del barrio, Alirio, entró en éxtasis ante la lujosa figura de Jesús sobre un hermoso burro de yeso, cubierto por un fino manto oro y carmesí que desbordaba la parihuela. Alirio quiso subirse, y como no lo dejaron los organizadores, jaló con rabia el manto y ¡cataplum! , de nuevo a la Tierra bajó el Redentor, esta vez con estrépito y acompañado de su montura. Con las esquirlas del santo seguramente habrán hecho reliquias; con los pedazos del burro sé que pintamos muchas golosas y vueltacolombias.

Desde aquello, y de tanto asistir a esos días de teatro católico, devine en coleccionista de imágenes religiosas. Pero no de santos, vírgenes y beatos, no. Colecciono imágenes mentales de las procesiones, imágenes de esas imágenes que se pasean cada año por las calles entre curas, tules e incienso, bamboleándose en los hombros penitentes de la feligresía.

Recuerdo, por ejemplo, el miedo que me dio cuando vi a un malencarado centurión de pantaloneta y guayos como defensa central del equipo de fútbol de San Cristóbal. Era el mismo gigantón rústico que había llevado a las patadas al Nazareno hasta el Calvario durante la Semana Santa en vivo y que ahora enfrentaba a mi hermano mayor, delantero en el equipo contrario. Y cómo olvidar la procesión de prendimiento a la que tuve oportunidad de asistir en la mística Popayán, cuando en medio de la oscuridad y el silencio, roto solamente por desgarradores redobles, sentí que me llamaban desde el paso mayor: "Leo, Leo, venga". Si el Nazareno, camino a la muerte, quería llevarme consigo, no pudo encontrar mejor escenario. Me acerqué al palio con la mirada más pía que pude y la elevé para buscar los ojos salvadores del Eccehomo. Alelada, sentí de nuevo la voz en mi oído: "Qué más Leoncia, soy Ugarte, estudiamos juntos en el colegio". La voz inconfundible de mi excompañero costeño salía de uno de los capirotes morados que distinguen a los cargueros.

Hace poco pude asistir a una muy rara procesión. Fue en El Congolo, un barrio con poquísima utilería sacra pero con un párroco tan recursivo que, a falta de costosos santos, montó las procesiones con los pingüinos que prestaron varios vendedores de Bon Ice de la vecindad. Sí, con esos animalotes negros de fibra de vidrio que pueblan esquinas y semáforos de la ciudad con los helados adentro. Y bien que le fue al curita, pues tendrían que haber visto lo fácil que se adaptaron los pingüinos a sus papeles, no sólo porque su tamaño —más grande que el de una persona normal— los hacía sobresalir, sino que por estar dotados de rodachinas no hubo necesidad de construir andas ni palanquines. Vestirlos también fue sencillo y barato, pues ya tenían el luto propio: Un mantón de muselina para La Magdalena, un corte de terciopelo verde y un lazo para San Juan, un palo de escoba como lanza para el soldado romano (y las cerdas de la misma escoba como casco), y una corona de alambre para Cristo Rey.

Dos lunares tuvo la original Semana Santa con pingüinos de El Congolo. La ceremonia del lavatorio de pies se vio deslucida por no prever que al limpiarles las patas el paño saldría untado con la grasa de las ruedas. Y, con toda franqueza, teniendo en cuenta que los pingüinos Bon Ice nunca dejan esa sonrisita, no debieron incluir la crucifixión.

 
Mis semanas santas   ¿Parranda santa?   Eccehomo y Bon Ice   Barrabás   Garita Santa
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